


Cold Water

by CatsoftheApocalypse



Series: The One with the Supernatural Boys [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adam out of the Cage, F/M, Michael out of the Cage, This is confusing, WTF???, and why does he look like John anyway?, this makes no sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-05 11:00:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4177311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatsoftheApocalypse/pseuds/CatsoftheApocalypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You find a dude by the side of the road, and he looks a lot like a relative of those two guys you used to hunt with...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Greatest Bastard

**Author's Note:**

> Request:
> 
> Would you consider doing a archangel Michael (young John Winchester) x female reader story? One where he's no longer in the cage (no one knows who pulled him out). The reader is friends with the Winchesters, and a hunter, who finds him and tries to help him adjust(with some humorous results) to being stuck on earth (takes place while the angels were locked out of heaven by Metatron). They fall in love and there's fluff and smut. Please? ~noordinarymagic

I was driving along the road leading to that infamous bone yard just outside of Lawrence. Dean had called and asked me to check out the area, since they had caught wind of a few strange omens close by. Surely, it must’ve cost him a lot of willpower to mention the place to me, when he usually didn’t even think about it if it could be avoided.  
A figure, seemingly male, slowly came into view, and when I was close enough to make out his features, I slammed the brakes and screeched to a halt. It couldn’t be. It was impossible for so many reasons.  
“John?”  
  
The man who looked very much like a young John Winchester had halted his steps and was blatantly staring back at me while I scrutinized him through the glass of my car’s window. Once Sam and Dean had accepted me into their little rag-tag group and I had hunted with them for a while before going off solo again, one of the things we’d done during late nights after successful hunts was talking about family. They’d shown me pictures, even, which was how I knew what their father had looked like when he was young in the first place. The person I was looking at now, whoever he might be, was – well, not an exact copy, but still close enough to be startling. His hair was a little lighter, his eyes a little darker, and he seemed to be a little shorter than the boy’s father used to be, according to them. He’d still tower over me if I stood next to him, though.  
At a complete loss concerning what to do, I just sat there until he shrugged and started walking again, his hands in his pockets. That forced me into action, and I hurried to unfasten my seatbelt and jump out of the car.  
“Wait! Hey, wait a moment! Please!” I called, and the stranger stopped again, turning around on his heels.  
He looked at me, his head tilted to the left, and now, without a glass barrier between us, I could see the sadness and confusion in his eyes. Suddenly, I felt as if an iron fist was closing tightly around my heart.  
“Do you need any help? A ride, maybe?” I asked cautiously.  
“Why would you offer that to a complete stranger?” he asked, his voice raw like he had not used it in a while, or maybe used it too much.  
“You look like you could use it. And you remind me of someone.” I explained with what I hoped to be a kind smile. “So what do you say?”  
He shrugged before answering.  
“I suppose it would be a good idea.”  
“Come on then, get in.” I said, returning to my place behind the wheel as he took a seat on the passenger side. “What’s your name?”  
“Mike.” he said after a few moments of silence.  
“Nice to meet you. I’m F/N. So… it seems you were headed into town?”  
“I was headed nowhere in particular.”  
“Then you won’t mind if we go into the opposite direction first?”  
“Not at all.”  
“Alrighty, then.”  
I started the car back up and slowly neared the old graveyard. Parking a respectful distance from the derelict gates, I got out and approached them further on foot, Mike following in my tracks.  
“Why did you come here?” he asked, and I thought he sounded just a tad bit nervous.  
“As a favor to a friend.”  
I left it at that and opened the gates just far enough for us to squeeze through. Treading the dead, yellowed grass carefully, as if not to disturb anybody’s rest, I made my way towards the spot Dean had described. The spot where he had lost his brothers – until one of them returned to his life, at least – four years ago. Adam, the youngest, was of course still stuck in that damn Cage with Lucifer and –  
I froze for a moment and then spun around, my hair flying into my face, to look at the man whose features were too much like my friend’s father’s for all of this to be a coincidence. I had shoved the similarity aside, my mind still too preoccupied with dreading what I might find here to notice that I had already found it.  
“Michael.” I hissed, my stance defensive.  
  
He held up his hands, palms facing me.  
“You don’t need to be afraid. I have no intentions of harming you. If I did, I would have done so already. I think you know that.” he said.  
“How did you get out?” I demanded.  
“I do not know.  
“Liar.”  
He flinched, as if the accusation actually stung.  
“I wish I knew the answer to your question, but I don’t. I woke up in this place. In this…” he looked down at his body, and his hands, as if seeing them for the first time. “… in this form. With no hint how, or why. I tried to go to Heaven. But I couldn’t.  
I scoffed involuntarily, my body becoming a little less rigid.  
“What?” he asked.  
“Of course you can’t get into Heaven. Nobody can.”  
“I don’t understand.”  
Again, he looked so genuinely confused that my defenses began to crumble. I didn’t trust him, not by a long shot, but I believed that he didn’t know about Heaven.  
“The Gates are sealed. Nobody can get in, not even the souls of the Dead.” I explained.  
“What? But my brothers and sisters wouldn’t-“  
“They fell. All of them. A few months ago.”  
“How?”  
He seemed t be in shock and only capable of short questions at this point.  
“Metatron cast a spell of some sort.”  
“The Scribe?”  
“Yes. You really didn’t know all this, did you?”  
“How could I possibly know? I just woke up an hour ago. All I know from before then is darkness, heat, pain, and Lucifer.”  
The pang of sympathy I had felt for the archangel in front of me just seconds ago vanished into thin air.  
“Darkness, heat, pain and Lucifer?” I growled. “Aren’t you forgetting something very important here? Like… I don’t know… THE GUY WHOSE MEATSUIT YOU WERE WEARING BEFORE???”  
Surprised be my outburst, he took a step back, guilt washing over his face.  
“Of course I have not forgotten about Adam Milligan.” he said.  
“Then where is he? Is he still in the Cage?”  
“I don’t know where he is, but I can assure you he is no longer in the Cage. I am able to sense his presence on Earth, even if I am incapable of pinpointing his exact location. He still has the sigils on his ribs that hide him from every angel in Creation.”  
I nodded curtly, already debating what and when to tell Sam and Dean.  
“And Lucifer?” I asked.  
“What about him?”  
“Is he still…”  
“Locked up? Yes. He is still in the Cage, where he shall remain.”  
“You mean to tell me you have no intention of getting the Apocalypse back on track?” I enquired, suspicion pervading my tone.  
“I have no such plans. Centuries of constantly fighting my brother have taught me a lesson, whether you believe it or not.”  
“You mean it?”  
“I do.”  
“Okay.”  
“Pardon?”  
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I believe you. Now, tell me one more thing.”  
“What is it you wish to know?” he asked, seeming strangely eager to prove himself to me, a mere, lowly human.  
“Sam and Dean Winchester – you remember them, of course – asked me to come here to check the area because they noticed a ton of funky omens popping up around here. Were those because of you?”  
“That is very likely. I can not say for certain, unfortunately, but the kind of power it would take to pull an archangel and his vessel out of the Cage is bound to cause some… disturbances in the surrounding areas.”  
I nodded in understanding. It made sense. I would still have to do some looking into this stuff, but first I had to deal with an archangel on the loose.  
“What’s your plan now?”  
“I have no plan. Nowhere to go either, for that matter. I doubt the other angels would take kindly to me at this point. And Heaven, as you say, is locked down.”  
“So, what? Living as a human?”  
“I know nothing about living a human life.”  
“No shit, Sherlock.”  
“What?” he asked, frowning.  
“Nothing. Just a figure of speech.”  
“Maybe you would…” he paused, and I raised a questioning eyebrow at him. “…Would you… help me?”  
“You want my help?” I asked, incredulous, and probably a little too loud.  
“If you are willing to provide it.”  
  
I entered my motel room and dropped the keys at the foot of the bed, waiting until I heard Michael close the door before I turned around. So far, I had neither refused nor agreed to help him. Instead, I had told him I’d think about it while we drove back to the motel.  
“I have a few conditions.” I announced.  
“For helping me?” he asked, and I nodded. “Name them.”  
“No surprises. That includes the unsolicited use of your angel-mojo. When we need to go places, we drive. I don’t care if you find cars confining. And if I find out you’re lying to me about anything, deal’s over. If there’s anything you don’t want to, or can not, tell me, say so, and we’ll figure something out. Got it?”  
“That sounds very reasonable and fair.” he agreed.  
“Good. Now the important, or more important, part. If I’m gonna help you, I expect you to help me as well.”  
“What do you require help with?”  
“Finding Adam Milligan.”  
He nodded curtly. During the drive, it had occurred to me that it would be near impossible to tell the Winchesters about what I had found here, and who, without mentioning their youngest brother and the fact that he was no longer in the Cage. I’d figured that it might be best to avoid specifics for the time being and only dish all the dirt once I – or, more correctly now, we – knew where and how Adam was.  
“If he’s around, I have to find him.” I added.  
“We have to find him.” Michael corrected.  
I chuckled lightly, causing a frown to appear on his face.  
“I’m sorry. It’s just tat… up until now, you’ve been pretty far from how I would have expected you to be. You even seem to actually care about Adam. From what the boys told me, I expected an arrogant, self-righteous bastard with no regard whatsoever for human life. I mean, I don’t trust you. trust has to be earned. But… I could have a worse impression of you, I suppose.”  
“I was like that.” he admitted. “But I think… I hope… that I have learned an important lesson during my time in that place. Before, I may have obeyed my father’s orders, but I did not understand.”  
“And now you do?” I asked.  
“I’d like to think that I am beginning to. You – humans, I mean – are flawed, but so are we. Lucifer and myself are probably the biggest proof of that. I have realized now that I am more like my little brother that I thought, but I hope I’ll be able to learn. As for Adam… I do care for his well-being. Apart from being my vessel. I’ve been inside his head, have seen what is important to him, and I highly respect that. He’s a good person.”  
I smiled softly at his words, and he gave me a confused look.  
“What is it?” he asked.  
“You’re right. He seems to be a good guy. I wouldn’t know for sure, I never really met him, but from what I’ve heard…” I trailed off.  
“Then why are you smiling?”  
“Because I was just thinking that, judging by the way you’ve been talking, you just might end up being one of the good guys yourself after all.”  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~Intermission – 3 months later~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
I wasn’t prepared for this. I had not been expecting it, it had never even crossed my mind. But against my will, and my better judgment, I had to admit to myself that I was falling for Michael. Slowly but surely, he’d begun to steal his way into my heart, and I was powerless against it. Yet, I refused to act on it.  
Over the last months, he had proven himself, over and over. While we were still looking for Adam, there had of course been the odd hunt here and there, and he’d held true to his promise not to use any of his angelic powers. That was not to say he hadn’t healed me that one time a shifter had nearly gutted me, of course, but even then, he had given me a questioning look and waited for my approval before acting.  
Sometimes it felt weird, knowing that a being as powerful as him, the oldest of the archangels, once commander of the whole host of heaven, was basically taking orders from me now. In light of everything that was going on, I was also well aware that it must be hard for him. And then being unable to seek the comfort of one’s home, after what he’d been through – I did feel for him.  
Every now and then, I caught him looking at me in a way I found… strange. Not a way that had the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, just odd. Whenever I would ask him about it, he’d avert his eyes and mumble something about just being lost in thought. After a while, I had stopped asking.  
We did not have much contact with the Winchesters. I had of course called them while still in Lawrence to let them know there was no immediate danger, but I had been vague about how I knew that. They had offered their help when I mentioned running into a guy who had no memory of how he got there, but had been satisfied with my assurances that I was alright and perfectly capable of taking care of myself.  
“Not doubting it.” Dean had said. “We just kind of miss you.”  
“Me too.” I had admitted in return. “I’ll try to check in more often.”  
And I really intended to. After we found Adam. I didn’t want to lie to them, so contact had been scarce.  
Trying to find Adam had proven difficult, as was to be expected. We didn’t have much to go on. No clues, no tips. All we had was guesswork. Michael thought it was likely Adam had shown up in an area wit omens similar to what had been going on in Lawrence. Also, he assumed that John Winchester’s youngest son was probably not in great shape. Of course, we had checked hospitals in and around Lawrence first, but no John Doe had been admitted. No Adam Milligan either, for that matter. Since then, we’d continually travelled around in our search for him, and I had called a few people I knew, thrown out a few nets, to make sure we were aware, or would be made aware, of anything that might be important.  
  
For a few weeks now, we’d been travelling more or less steadily in a north-western sort of direction. There were some towns and cities there with omens similar enough to what we needed to be interesting for us. While I kept growing more and more frustrated with every hospital, town and city in which we came up empty-handed, Michael seemed a little more confident, a little… giddier, even, the further north-westwards we got.  
After leaving yet another hospital with nothing to show for it, we got into my car to go back to our motel. When I glanced over at him, I noticed a small smile on his lips.  
“What are you so happy about?” I asked, starting the engine. “In case you didn’t notice, that just now was another useless hospital visit.”  
“I am aware.” he replied calmly.  
“Then what’s with the smile?”  
“We’re getting closer.”  
“Oh yeah?”  
“Yes. I can feel it. I told you, I can’t pinpoint Adam’s location, but since we’re headed in this direction, I can feel the bond between him and me strengthening with every mile.”  
“And you didn’t think that was worth mentioning?” I asked, a slightly accusatory note in my voice.  
“I… I was not entirely sure until a few days ago. I apologize.”  
After backing out of the parking spot, my eyes grazed him again, and I noticed that his expression had gone from happy to worried.  
“What is it?”  
“I hope this does not constitute a breach of our agreement.” he replied as I started driving.  
“Pardon?”  
“You said that if I ever lied to you, our deal was done.”  
“Oh. Well… I wouldn’t call this one a lie, exactly. Sometimes, not telling somebody something can be just as bad as lying to them, but I think I can let this one slide.” Was I imagining things, or did he actually breathe a sigh of relief? “Tell me something else, though.”  
“Yes?”  
“You don’t plan on taking Adam as a vessel again, do you? Or Dean?”  
He shook his head.  
“No. They have both been through enough, I think.”  
“Good.” I nodded.  
“You have something else to ask.” he observed, and correctly so.  
“I do.”  
“What is it?”  
“I’ve been wondering… What about the body you’re in now? You might have noticed you look an awful lot like the boy’s father. But it can’t be his body. They burned him. Also, he was about 27 years older than you look when he died.”  
“Of course this is not John Winchester’s body.” Michael agreed. “In fact, I do not think it is anyone’s. Except mine, of course.”  
“What?”  
“I believe that whoever pulled Adam and me out of the Cage created this form specifically for me. There is no human soul in this body. Only me.” he elaborated.  
“Only? Hardly.” I murmured.  
Silence fell as I pondered his words. For three months, this question had been sitting in the back of my mind, nagging away at me. Now I had an answer. Admittedly, one that only served to confuse me more, but still.  
We reached the motel and our room, barely exchanging glances. When I exited the bathroom, where I had retreated to get ready for bed while thoughts and emotions swirled wildly within me, Michael was already on his own bed, reading one of the books I had gotten him. Pop-culture knowledge may not be essential to living a human life, but it couldn’t hurt either, and I needed to sleep. Therefore, he had taken to reading while I did so. The lights of any given motel’s bedside lamps were usually low enough so that I could rest while he read.  
I crawled beneath my sheets and curled up into a ball, more or less content until, instead of the two words that usually concluded out days – “Good Night.” – three suddenly resounded in the room, hanging heavily in the air like the toll of a large church bell.  
“I love you.”


	2. Delicate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wait, what?
> 
> You deal with the end of the last chapter.

“What?” I asked, sitting up and untangling myself from the sheets with uncoordinated movements.  
Michael flinched and his eyes flitted to mine for a moment before he looked back down at his book. I thought I even saw him blush.  
“Michael?! I’m talking to you!”  
Slowly, he turned towards me, putting the book down.  
“Yes?” he asked, as if he didn’t know what I wanted.  
“Don’t play dumb. You just said-“  
“I didn’t say any-“ he interrupted himself when I shot him a warning look.  
Maybe it was unfair of me to play the ‘I told you not to lie to me’-card in such a moment, but I needed to be sure I had heard him right. No matter what my answer was going to be – and I was not at all sure in that regard yet – it was important that we were as honest as possible to each other. He took a deep breath before speaking up again.  
“I… I did not mean to say it. It is the truth, but I did not mean to reveal it. Ever. You may forget I even said it at all, if that please you. Just… don’t send me away.”  
I smiled and sat on his bed, facing him, my legs folded under me. All the while, he watched my every move carefully.  
“I’m not going to send you away.” I said, and saw relief washing over his features before his serious expression returned. “But I would like to know how you are… how you can be so sure that you are in love with me. I assume you’ve never been in love before.”  
“That is true, but… I have been in Adam’s body for a very long time. By human standards, that is. There is a reason why, for a long time, it was forbidden for an angel to take a vessel. It changes us. The longer we stay in a human form, the more… accustomed we grow. We know love, of course. The love for our father, for our siblings. That only makes it… No, that’s not right… The kind of love for another being, besides family, the way humans feel it… an angel hardly ever gets to experience it, and it’s… confusing. But with the knowledge of a vessel, or a former vessel, in my case, it is clearly identifiable. It is… distinct, if you will.” he described.  
“So what you’re saying is that Adam was in love, at whatever point, and what you feel for me now is similar?”  
“I guess so.”  
“Michael, I… I can’t.” I said quietly.  
“I understand. I will not mention it again.”  
“No, wait. Let me explain.”  
“You do not need to. You don’t feel anything for me, apart from hatred, I presume, and that’s the end of it.” he said, casting his eyes down and reaching for the book again.  
Softly, I laid a hand on his cheek. He flinched again at the initial contact before slowly lifting his gaze to meet mine once more.  
“I don’t hate you.” I stated firmly. “I like you. A lot. “But I – I need to stay focused. We have not found Adam yet. It’s been three months. I need to figure one thing out before I can begin to think about another. I’m not even sure how deep my feelings for you go. So… Let’s just go one step after the other, alright? We’ll find Adam, and then I’ll give you an answer. How does that sound?”  
“Fair. Very fair.” he replied, nodding, and I let my hand fall from his face into my lap.  
Then consider it another deal. I’ll go catch some sleep now.”  
“Of course.”  
I got up and went to crawl into my own bed again.  
“Good night.” Michael told me.  
“Good night.” I whispered in return.  
  
Though my body was motionless my thoughts kept rattling on. I knew the moment I said it that I would indeed need to stay focused it I wanted to find Adam, but also that I would not be able to cast this matter out of my thoughts entirely. And , seriously, how could I not think about it? Now that all those odd looks he’d been giving me finally made sense. I knew I had feelings for him, and now that he’d told me he felt the same… But I couldn’t just jump into a relationship of whatever kind. With an archangel, no less. Especially not in the midst of what was going on, with the angels cast out of heaven and all that. Or could I? I mean, if I, if he, had a chance at even the tiniest sliver of happiness in a world that was crawling with disasters waiting for their turn to happen, then who was I to deny us that chance?  
I knew he was trying to be better. To be more human. And really, he was. Sam and Dean had, albeit reluctantly, told me about their two encounters with him. They hadn’t exactly had a great impression of him, but since I met him… He’d been nothing but good to me. Honest. Kind. He’d gone out of his way, on several occasions, to save people when we were hunting. One night, I had mentioned how Bobby Singer had been, if not quite the father figure he was for the boys, a very important person in my life, and Michael had genuinely apologized for snapping his neck back in the day.  
Having bought myself some time, I figured I should probably use it to dig into his psyche a little. To find out what he truly thought of humans in general. After all, I did not think I could be particularly happy with myself and him if I ended up being the only human he could… tolerate. That might not have been the right word, but no better one came to mind. Generally, I just needed to be sure.  
Sleep evaded me for a long time that night, and it was not until the first light of day peered through the window that I finally drifted off.  
  
It’s strange how many different things can happen when similar circumstances repeat themselves. Like unlocking the bathroom door of a motel room and walking out.  
Upon first meeting Michael, after we had set the terms for our agreement, I had arranged for a room with two beds instead of the one I had had before. Unfortunately, I had forgotten all about that, and Michael’s presence in general, in my sleepy haze the next morning, and had come strolling out of the bathroom clad in nothing but a threadbare towel, rubbing my hair dry with another one. Once I noticed my mistake, the morning had progressed with my quickly grabbing some clothes and disappearing again, followed by a day of blushing and awkward silences on both sides.  
Another time, Michael had apparently been pacing the room, hands locked behind his back, leaning forward just slightly, and I had thrown the door open, hitting him in the head with it.  
Compared to those incidents, and a few others of a similar nature, it was a rather… tame morning, when I exited the bathroom and Michael asked me where we needed to go next.  
“The next town on our list is only 150 miles out. We might even be able to make it to two today. Or at least go to the second one and pop by their hospital first thing tomorrow.”  
“You sound fairly certain he won’t be in the next town we get to.” Michael said, frowning.  
“I’m just being realistic. We haven’t found Adam so far, and we need to take into account the possibility that we might not find him today either. I know you think we’re getting closer, and I’m not doubting your judgment, but I need to consider everything else as well.”  
“I understand.” he nodded.  
I could see something still bothered him, and I was pretty sure I knew what.  
“Michael, don’t worry about last night. As I said, I will give you an answer.”  
“When we have found Adam, I know…” he grumbled, grabbing our bags and making his way out to the car while I went to check us out.  
  
As I had suspected, we had no luck that day. We did make it to two hospitals, and came up empty at both. That didn’t sit well with Michael, making him generally grumpy for most of the following day. Maybe having a nice chat would lift his mood.  
“Can I ask you something?” I spoke up out of the blue, on the road to our next location.  
“Of course.” he said flatly.  
“Will you tell me about your family?”  
“To what end? You know about the Apocalypse. What more could I tell you?”  
“That’s not what I meant. I know about angels and God from a purely human perspective. But I want to know how you think and feel about them. They’re your family. Your father. You must have been happy at some point.”  
A small smile appeared on his face.  
“Yes. We were. You couldn’t imagine it. In the beginning, it was perfect. We were happy. Blissfully so. But when father created humanity…” his expression crumbled, and he went pensive again.  
“Yeah?”  
“Well, Lucifer refusing to bow down before you… He was always a rebel, but that was the moment we knew there was no going back for him. After I had to cast him down… everything was different. There used to be a kind of ease to our whole existence, but once Lucifer was gone, whatever we did felt strained. took more effort. And then he corrupted the Garden. Father left. I took over, trying to lead as best I could. I’m afraid I seem to have failed miserably.”  
He was not looking at me while he spoke, instead staring out the shotgun window at the landscape brushing by.  
“I tried to follow my fathers wishes and bow down before humanity, but it was mindless. I did it because I was told to, not because I knew you were worth it. Now… I think I do.”  
“Do what? Know we are worth it?” I asked, my heart racing.  
This was exactly the kind of thing I wanted to know, and I didn’t even have to prompt him much. I hoped he’d continue.  
“Yes. Lucifer has, on more than one occasion, called humans A failure. Flawed abortions. Until the end, even in the Cage, he failed to see that, not only are we no better and just as flawed as humans, but also that those flaws are exactly what makes humans so valuable. My time with Adam and Lucifer in the Cage has opened my eyes.  
The difference between your kind and mine, or, more accurately, one of the differences, is that you always strive. For something, whatever it may be. Most of you try to be better. Try to earn what you want. We… we just take for granted what we have, and take whatever else we want. And if anything is taken from us, we don’t know what to do. I can’t even begin to tell you how confused all of my sibling still are, now that Heaven is lost.”  
“It’s not lost. I’m sure there is a way. There will be a solution, and if I know anything at all about them, the Winchesters and Cas will have a hand in finding it.” I interjected.  
“That, right there,-“ he continued, now turning to look at me.”-that is one of the things I have come to love about humanity. Sometimes… Some people… you tend to take on fights that were never supposed to be yours to fight. Just because you care. I think that is what makes you better than us, in the end. You care.”  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~Intermission – 1 month later~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
After Michael’s long speech about humanity, I had a difficult time refraining from just telling him how much he had come to mean to me. In the end, however, I managed to get a hold of myself and keep it together. Mostly. Still, occasionally, I would let my hand brush against his slowly, aching for some sort of connection, no matter how fleeting, and Michael would catch his breath. Or our eyes would meet, and I’d forget what I had been about to say, caught up in his gaze and the hint of a smile on his lips. These moments tended to pass quickly, but part of me cherished them. The other part of me was still determined to find Adam before I let things between myself and the archangel escalate.  
The thing was, we were still no closer to finding the boys’ lost brother than we had been a month ago, although Michael had, just last night, in fact, insisted that the connection he had with his former vessel was almost tangible by now. Approaching a crossroads, he had asked me to stop the car, and after a long period of silence suggested it might be a good idea to take a left turn instead of going straight. I had reasoned with him that we should go check out the hospital we were now walking up to first, and could still follow up on his gut feeling afterwards.  
  
We headed on inside and made sure we ended up talking to the main doctor on duty, asking and flashing fake badges. The man was tall and handsome, with piercing blue eyes and silver dusting his hair. Honestly, had it not been for my attachment to Michael, I might have flirted with him. As it was, I acknowledged he was attractive, but it did not really affect me.  
“What can I do for you, Agents, he asked in a pleasant voice.  
“I assume you remember a few… odd weather occurrences around here, about four months ago, Doctor?” I asked in return, getting straight to the point.  
“Indeed, but why do those bring you to us?”  
“We need to know whether, around that time, you admitted any new patients, possibly severely injured or even comatose, who are still here.”  
“No, Agent. I’m sorry. We did admit a comatose patient back then, identity unknown. we signed him in as John Doe, but he is not here anymore.”  
By my side, Michael perked up, but I tried to keep ma calm and not get too excited.  
“What happened to him, Doctor?” I questioned coolly. “Did he wake up?”  
The doctor sighed.  
“Unfortunately, he did not. We had a wave of serious infections a little while back, and since we needed the resources, we had to transfer him to another hospital.”  
“Where would that be?”  
“I’m not quite sure. But if you speak to the head nurse, she’ll be able to pull the information up for you, including directions, should you require them.”  
“Thank you, Doctor.”  
He directed us to the head nurse, who gave us what we needed and sent us on our way.  
  
It just so happened that we had to go back to the crossroads and in the direction Michael had pointed out earlier.  
“Would you look at that.” I commented. “Seems we were gonna go back her one way or another.”  
I glanced over at him and saw the smallest of smiles on his lips. Yet, he seemed tense. Therefore, I blindly reached for his hand and gave it a light squeeze of reassurance. He still appeared troubled, but I decided to focus on the optimism bubbling up in me for the time being.  
Since we’d talked to the head nurse, I had been unable to stop myself from becoming more and more hopeful that this was it, that we’d finally be in luck and find Adam.  
  
Again, we posed as Feds, referring to the information the staff at the other hospital had given us. Within 10 minutes of entering the hospital, we were led to a room by a nurse, hopefully to find that John Doe needn’t be called John Doe anymore.  
Somehow, that thought made me nervous. Behind the nurse’s back´, I reached for Michael once more, intertwining my fingers with is. Instantly, I felt surer of myself. Michael’s head snapped around so he could look at me, and I gave him a reassuring smile. As the nurse turned around, we let go of each other. She opened the door and I held my breath as she waved us in.  
“Is he the one you are looking for, Agents?” the woman asked curiously.  
“Yes.” I breathed.  
  
“What now?” Michael asked when we left the hospital.  
“First of all, I think I should call Dean.” I said, pulling my phone out of my pocket.  
Michael nodded, and I dialed Dean’s number.  
“Hey Dean!”  
“F/N? You said you’d check in more often! We thought something happened to you!” Dean accused.  
“Yes, I know. And I’m sorry. Really, I am. But I had stuff to do.”  
“Stuff? You hear that, Sammy? She had stuff to do.”  
“Dean, please. This… thing I was doing… It had something to do with you guys.” I hinted.  
“How so?”  
“Well, it’s difficult to explain. Are you guys on a case right now?”  
“No, why?”  
“Can we meet up? This is something we should talk about face to face.”  
“Fine.” he huffed after another short conversation with Sam, clearly not happy that he would have to wait for an explanation.  
“I’ll text you directions, then. Let me know when you’re here.”  
“This better be good.”  
“Don’t worry, it is.” I promised.  
“I hope so. We’ll see you soon.”  
“I can’t wait. Bye.”  
I shoved my phone back into my pocket with a sigh.  
“They’re coming here?” Michael asked.  
“yeah. Now let’s go find a place to sleep. I’m exhausted.” I confirmed, moving on before he could even try to bring up what I was pretty sure he was dying to talk about.  
I had a plan, and I was determined to see it through. Michael nodded, resigned, and we got into the car.  
  
Shrugging off a few option which were probably cheaper, but definitely shabbier, I found a motel that didn’t look too bad. Upon my request, Michael waited by the car with our bags while I booked us a room. When I returned, I grabbed my bag and led the way to our room.  
After closing the door behind us, I turned to the archangel, finding a confused look on his features. He’d dropped his bag, and I did the same.  
“Problem?” I asked innocently.  
“There’s… There is only one bed.” he stated, gesturing to the king-size.  
“Yes. And?”  
“Were there no other rooms?”  
“Oh, there were plenty. But I asked for this one.”  
He looked at me, wide-eyed, and I took a few steps closer to him.  
“Why?” he asked  
Cautiously, I raised a hand to rest it against his cheek and stood on tiptoes. Giving him enough time to retreat, I slowly pressed my lips to his in a careful kiss. When I pulled away and opened my eyes, I found his were closed.  
“Why don’t you make an educated guess?”


	3. It Takes A Lot To Know A Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael is adorable, the boys arrive, nothing is okay, everything gets better...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. I apologize a thousand times that it took so long to finish this one. I've actually been busy. New campaign at work and all...

We just stood there, and I was waiting for any kind of reply from Michael. He still kept his eyes closed and was breathing deeply, but after several minutes, I grew worried.  
“Michael?” I asked him cautiously. “Are you alright?”  
“Yes.” he whispered, still not opening his eyes.  
When he was quiet again, realization dawned on me.  
“You… you’ve never been kissed before, have you?”  
Now, he opened his eyes to look at me as his cheeks reddened.  
“I’ve never had occasion…” he admitted sheepishly.  
When I began to giggle, he looked hurt.  
“I’m sorry… I’m not laughing at you, I promise. It’s just that… that’s the exact same thing Cas said, years ago, when Dean asked him how experienced he was.”  
“Oh.”  
“Yeah. Come on.”  
I grabbed his hand and guided him towards the bed, where we sat next to one another and I pulled one leg up to the mattress, folding it under me as I turned to face him.  
“So, before we say anything else, I want to make sure we’re on the same page. That you understand why I just kissed you.”  
“I… I hope you…” he began, but fell silent once more, unsure how to continue.  
“That kiss was my answer to what you said to me a month ago.” I told him softly.  
It felt so good to finally have my feelings out in the open, along with his, and the smile that lit up his face was so beautiful, I really wished I’d cracked and told him earlier. I reached for his cheek, and he leaned into my touch with a sigh.  
“How was it?” I asked quietly.  
“How was what?”  
“Your first kiss.”  
“There are no words.”  
“I assume that’s a good thing?”  
“More than just good.”  
“Then why were you so quiet?”  
“I was… savoring the feeling. Relishing it. And I also… might have been a bit overwhelmed.” he explained, looking away as if he was ashamed.  
“So… if you liked it, I suppose you would not object to an encore? This time with you being prepared? Maybe even actively participating?”  
He blushed again, and I raised a questioning eyebrow.  
“I… I would not know what to do. What would please you. I know the… mechanics, of course, but…”  
“And that’s all you need to know. We can just agree that, if either of us does something the other does not like, we’ll tell them. I tell you, you tell me. And then we’ll just take it from there.” I offered.  
Swallowing audibly, he nodded, and I let my hand move to the back of his neck, pulling him closer as I leaned in again. He sighed when our lips met for the second time, and I did not waste the opportunity to begin exploring his mouth. He seemed surprised, but did not break the kiss. Instead, he began to tentatively mirror my actions.  
His lack of experience was clear, but that made the kiss all the sweeter. It wasn’t bad, or boring, just… careful. As if he wanted to make sure he didn’t do anything wrong. Not that he could have. I was too much in love with hi at this point to find much fault in anything he had done since I met him. What came before then was of course not wiped from history, but it was a different chapter of the book.  
Slowly, he reached for my body and pulled me to sit on his lap, the kiss still unbroken. When we finally separated so I could catch my breath I looked at him, curious what he might say. His eyes opened, and I was astonished, yet pleased, to find them dark and desirous. I shifted and felt that they were not the only part of him affected by what was happening.  
I hummed in delight when his gripped on me tightened ever so slightly at my movement.  
“Do you want to go further? Now?” I asked, wanting to make sure I didn’t push him too far too fast.  
Michael scanned my face while letting his hands softly wander my body.  
“Do you?” he questioned in return.  
“Hmm… I wouldn’t mind at all. But if it’s too much for you, if you need a bit of time, that’s perfectly reasonable.”  
“I think I can handle it.” he said with a smile, although it seemed a little forced.  
A reassuring smile of my own on my lips, I pecked his before removing myself from his lap, chucking my blazer and the jacket of his suit into a corner and pushing him to lie back on the mattress, his feet still on the ground. While I stood there, a bloody archangel staring up at me in wonder, I was trying quite desperately not to let the situation get to my head, lest it inflate and explode. I hen proceeded to straddle him, his hands coming to rest on my thighs, tightening there when the core of my desire came so very close to his, creating some friction and deliciously teasing the both of us. After bending down to kiss him, I whispered against his lips.  
“Now, listen up. You can do what you want. Touch me. Rest and let me touch you. A bit of both. Take control. But if, at any point, and I mean any point whatsoever, this gets to be too much for you to process, or is too overwhelming, no matter how far we’ve gone, we can stop. Clear?”  
He nodded, his eyes fixed on mine, and leaned up ever so slightly to capture my lips in another kiss, much more confident about what he was doing by now. His hands snuck under the hem of my shirt, making me shiver at the feeling of his touch, while I moved my own hands to the buttons of his. Once these were undone, I broke the kiss to press my lips to his bare chest instead, eliciting a low groan from him. Michael sat up slowly to take my shirt and bra off me, his own shirt dropping down in the process. I admired him for a moment before an idea popped into my mind.  
“Do you thing you could work a little magic? Get rid of the rest of our clothes? I’d very much prefer not to leave the physical proximity we’re in.” I said lowly.  
He looked surprised for a moment, but then he smiled, and in the blink of an eye we were both completely undressed, all of our clothes resting neatly folded in piles on two of the chairs in the room.  
“That’s handy.” I commented before kissing him again.  
Feeling him like this, skin on skin, nothing between us, no barriers whatsoever, my desire just kept growing, but I was determined to keep myself in check. Slow and steady wins the-  
I found my thoughts interrupted at this point when Michael suddenly moved, switching our positions so I was now on the bed and he hovered above me, eyes wild and full of need, yet questioning. I nodded my consent and he seemed appropriately relieved, proceeding to trail kisses down my neck and chest until his lips surrounded one of my nipples and my mouth opened in a silent cry of pleasure. I buried one of my hands in his hair as the other went to map out his back in detail and I took not of every dip and curve. Not a crevice escaped me. The curves of his shoulder blades, every rib I counted with the gentlest pressure while he switched sides to pay equal homage to the other half of my chest. At that, I felt it was time to move this a little further along, so I reached between us, gentle fingers closing around his length, stroking him softly.  
He gasped at the intimate contact and rested his head on my chest.  
“Is this too much?” I asked with concern, my rhythm faltering for a moment.  
“No.” he assured me, lifting his head again to look at me. “I just…”  
“… needed a moment?” I suggested, and he nodded. “That’s alright. You good now?”  
“Perfectly. Maybe now… Could we…” he stopped himself, but I knew what he meant to ask.  
I nodded and guided him, just a bit. A long, low groan escaped him as he pushed into me, new to the feeling of my wet warmth enveloping him. I felt myself sinking into a sea of sensations, new and familiar at the same time, as we began to move together.  
Gasps and moans, groans, sighs and whimpers filled my ears, and I could not have said which came from whom. I was entirely focused on Michael and how he made me feel. he way it seemed my skin was tingling everywhere even more so in places he touched. The way he hit that one spot within me with every stroke. My blood seemed to boil as I met his every move, my fingers clawing at his back, our lips united in another hungry kiss. Nearing completion myself, I felt Michael was slowly losing his pace while I hooked one leg around him, slightly changing the angle at which he pounded into me.  
Just a little while later, Michael stopped moving entirely, his face now hidden against my shoulder, a deep groan spilling forth from his throat as I, too, found myself awash in the pleasure my release afforded me with.  
  
“Michael?” I whispered.  
“Hm?” he returned to indicate he had heard me, but not parting his gaze from the ceiling he had been looking up to for the past few minutes as we lay there, safe and warm under the sheets, with me cuddled up as close to him as possible, both still vibrating with bliss.  
“Will you say them again?” I asked, treading carefully.  
“Say what again?”  
“The three words you said to me a month ago.”  
“You mean-“ he began, finally shifting his gaze to look into my eyes instead, and I nodded.  
He swallowed hard before he continued.  
“I love you.”  
“And I-“ lifting my head from the pillows, I softly pressed my lips to his, finishing my sentence as I pulled back. “-I love you.”  
No more words were needed, and it wasn’t long before I fell into a peaceful slumber while he held my body to his.  
   
We had of course not failed to “acquire” a copy of Adam’s medical records when we finally found him, so the state of his health was, as could be expected, a topic of much discussion for us the next morning.  
But first things first.  
“Morning.” I mumbled, rubbing sleep from my eyes.  
“Good morning.” Michael replied, and I could hear the happy smile behind his words. “How did you sleep?”  
“In the arms of an angel.” I grinned.  
His hold on me resumed and he kissed my temple.  
“What should we do now?”  
I pondered his question for a few moments before sitting up, holding the sheets to my chest. Michael followed my example and we leaned against the headboard.  
“Well, we can’t leave. Yet, anyway. The boys are on their way. We need to explain what happened, as far as we can. And – hang on, let me go take a look at those medical records…” Before I could get out of the bed to fetch the papers, they were lying in my lap. “Thanks.”  
I glanced over the information with a frown that only deepened while the minutes ticked by.  
“What does it say?” Michael questioned, observing my expression carefully.  
“Nothing good.” I sighed. “He’s comparatively stable, but has been gradually getting worse over time. They don’t know why he’s not waking up, either. There is no physical explanation for that…” I explained.  
“I could try to heal him. Gradually, over the next few days until his brothers are here. That way, it won’t raise too much suspicion…”  
I looked at him, astonished, not by the offer itself, but by how thoughtful he was regarding the consequences.  
“Do you think that would work?”  
“My ability to heal is at full power. But I would need to see Adam again in order to judge whether whatever it is that stops him from waking up can be overridden by an angel’s grace.”  
“Huh.” I huffed. I guess that means it’s a good thing the hospital knows we’ll be back anyway… Shall we get going?” I asked, and Michael nodded.  
“Breakfast for you first?” he asked.  
“Nope. Brushing my teeth. Then you will join me for a shower, and THEN breakfast, on our way to the hospital.” I grinned, enjoying the sight of a faint blush crawling over his cheeks when I mentioned the shower.  
  
It took Sam and Dean four days to make it to our location. I had given them the address of our motel instead of the hospital since I didn’t really want them to draw their guns on my boyfriend in the middle of a medical center. Or at all, really. But since I had to consider it rather likely that they would end up doing exactly that, I had taken precautions to make this as smooth as possible. The curtains of our room were drawn and Michael and I were sitting on the bed, facing one another, legs crossed in front of us, knees touching, and were anxiously awaiting the Winchesters’ arrival. Nevertheless, we both jumped as a knock sounded from the door.  
According to my sketchy plan, I checked who was outside first, while Michael remained where he was. Seeing that it really was the boys, I sighed and looked at Michael before opening the door, just wide enough for me to slip out. They were surprised I didn’t invite them right in, but that did only last until I greeted each of them with a hug.  
“It’s so good to see you guys.” I said, letting go of them and hoping my nerves didn’t show.  
“Same to you, F/N.” Sam said, while Dean obviously wanted to get straight to the point, which was understandable after I had made him drive hundreds of miles without a proper explanation.  
“F/N, what’s going on? Why are we standing out here? Is everything alright?” he began to bombard me with questions.  
“Dean, please.” I said, holding up my hands to stop him. “I told you on the phone, what I asked you to came here for is a good thing. You’re going to love it. Mostly.”  
“Mostly?” Sam echoed, furrowing his brow.  
“Well…” I took a deep breath. “It’s a god thing, but it’s also a little… a lot… complicated. Which is why we’re having the first part of this conversation out here.” they both opened their mouths to say something, but I stopped them. “No. Please, let me explain. As much as I know how. You remember, Dean, what I told you after you sent me to Lawrence? About he guy I ran into?” He nodded. “I… I know who he is. And you guys know him as well.”  
“But you said he didn’t remember how he got there.”  
“He didn’t. He still doesn’t. But… he knows who he is, and he remembers everything else. Now, please, promise me you’ll keep calm. He’s helped me a lot these past few months. Saved my life, too. And he’s a big part of why I asked you to come here. Keep that in mind. And remember that I know exactly what I’m doing. Come on in.”  
I opened the door wide and we entered, Sam last and closing it after himself. They looked around for my companion, their eyes widening when they saw him. To my utter surprise, they did not draw their guns on Michael. Instead, they seemed to be frozen in shock. Their complete lack of movement could, of course, only last so long. Dean suddenly whirled around and grabbed me by my shoulders.  
“What is this?” Are you nuts? Who is this guy? What’s going on?” he yelled.  
“Dean.” Sam cautioned his brother with a glance at the third man in the room, who had advanced a step or two in our direction as soon as Dean had put his hands on me.  
I gave a miniscule shake of my head to stop him from approaching further and wriggled out of Dean’s grasp.  
“Can we deal with this like sensible people?” I asked, looking at Sam.  
He seemed, for the moment, to be the calmer one of the brothers.  
“Alright.” he nodded, resting a hand on Dean’s shoulder to keep him grounded. “Then tell us what is going on and why there is a guy looking like a young version of our Dad in your motel room.”  
Now it was my turn to nod, and I swallowed audibly before speaking.  
“I ran into him when Dean asked me to check out those omens in Lawrence. That much you know. But we… I figured out pretty much right away who he is, even though I did not tell you. We made a deal-“ both brothers opened their mouths at this point, but I continued before they could interrupt. “-not of that sort. He’s no demon. Think upstairs. Guys. Come on. connect the dots. You should have figured it out by now.” I urged.  
There were a few moments of silence, and then I saw the gears screech to a halt in the boys’ heads. Dean had his gun out in a second, knowing full well it would be useless against an angel, and an archangel even more so. In any case, he seemed to be unable to decide who to point the firearm at, which resulted in him switching his aim back and forth between Michael and me. Sam, on the other hand, drew an angel blade and took a step towards Michael. I knew a lower order angel’s blade could do Michael little harm, but still, my heart threatened to stop at the thought of losing him, and I hurried to put myself between the two.  
“F/N, get out of my way. If you know who he is, you know what he’s done to us. He’s probably here to restart the Apocalypse.” Sam demanded.  
“He is not. He’s been with me for the past four months. If he wanted to do as you say, he would not have waited so long.”  
“Sam. Dean.” Michael began. “May I speak?”  
“Not a word.” Dean denied his request gruffly. “I’m out of here. Sammy, you coming?”  
“Guys, wait!” I pleaded.  
“Dean, I-“  
“Shut up!” both Winchesters barked towards Michael simultaneously.  
“Michael, I… I think you should leave.” I told him in as gentle a tone as I could muster.  
It pained me to see the hurt on his face before a great flutter of wings could be heard and he was gone.  
“Can we talk now?”  
Anger and indecision warred within the brothers, but in the end they stayed. We sat down around the small table and part of me felt as if I was on trial.  
“What are you thinking?” Sam demanded. “And what have you been doing with him for four months?”  
“I… As I said, we made a deal. We were looking for something. Maybe things got a little out of hand.” I admitted.  
“Well, from the looks of it, they also got out of pants.” Dean growled.  
Both his and Sam’s look turned dumbstruck when I slapped him ,and he proceeded to blink in surprise.  
“Don’t you dare.” I warned. “I have spent the last four months on a bloody quest. FOR YOUR SAKE!!! Don’t you dare judge me or Michael for our feelings. They’re good and pure.”  
“What do you mean, for our sake?” Sam interjected before I could rage on any further. “What were you looking for?”  
“It’s… more of a who, actually. We were looking for…” I hesitated, not to create a dramatic pause, but because I was actually a little scared how they might react to this second revelation.  
“Just spit it out, F/N. It can hardly surprise us more than what we found out so far today.” Dean demanded, and I resolved to do just that.  
“We were looking for Adam.”  
  
Both brothers were still, after minutes, staring at me, motion-and wordless, and remained in that state until Dean caught himself.  
“Have you… he began, trailing off, and not resuming his speech for fear of my answer.  
“Have we found him? Yes. He’s in a hospital nearby. He’s been in a coma ever since he and Michael were pulled out of the Cage, and has gradually been getting worse. Had he continued on the trajectory he was on, the doctors feared they might have lost him sooner or later. But since we found him the day I called you, we’ve been visiting him daily, and Michael has been gradually healing him.”  
“Did he wake up?” Sam asked quietly.  
“No, not yet. We wanted to wait with that until you were here.”  
“Can we see him?” Dean questioned.  
“Yes. The hospital is expecting you. Now, can you get a grip on yourselves and deal with Michael’s presence, or do I have to hurt you?”  
“I think, in light of what you just told us, we can give him a chance. If you also tell us the rest of the story.” Sam said, after giving Dean a questioning look and receiving a nod in reply.  
“Wait outside while I call him, then. I’ll tell you more on the way to the hospital.” I instructed, and they actually did as I told them.  
  
“Michael?” I said to the empty room when I was alone.  
I received no reply.  
“Michael, I told them what’s going on. They… understand. Kind of. Come back.”  
Again, nothing. I couldn’t blame him, but I did blame myself. My earlier words had been rather cold. But that was only because the Winchesters had been such children and-  
Sad, frustrated, and more than a little angry, I grabbed my car keys and stomped outside, where the boys were waiting by the Impala.  
“No. We’re taking my car.”  
“But-“ Dean began to object, whereupon I fixed him with a deadly glare.  
“Shut up and get in the car.” I barked. “Michael’s not answering. Both, your brother waking up, and my happiness, lie with one archangel right now, and because of you two, I sent him away more harshly than I intended. I may have lost my boyfriend. Do not try my patience. Get. In. The. Car.”  
They knew better than to try and argue with me, so they just looked at each other and got in the backseat.  
  
True to my word, even though I was angry, I told them the rest of my story while we made our way towards the hospital. I left nothing out. Not even how Michael had first told me he loved me, or what had followed. Not my final reply. His goodness. His determination. His epiphanies about humans. During this tale, my sadness grew, my eyes began to sting with tears, my throat constricted, and  had to pull over and attempt to calm down before continuing on our way.  
As I cried, I faintly heard awkward shuffling and the opening and closing of one of the doors behind me. Then, Sam’s large hand came to rest on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Apparently, it had been Dean who had gotten out.  
Under normal circumstances, I was not an overly emotional person. But no matter how I had made it appear to either the boys or Michael, the last months had taken a toll on me. In the middle of a new mess, I had been trying to untangle an old one, working oh-so-hard on not falling for a literal angel and failing in one of the two, and just when we had finally gotten together, I had to go and say something not very nice in a not at all nice way. I feared I had already lost him again. The one person whose presence would make even the life of a hunter seem almost easy to me. The thought that I might have hurt him too much and that he might not come back to me just-  
I flinched when there was a knock against the driver’s side window and quickly wiped my tears away as best I could before looking up and finding Dean, beckoning me to come out. Not quite sure why, I still did as he asked.  
“What?” I asked with a slightly broken voice.  
A small smile graced Dean’s features as he stepped aside to return to his seat, revealing Michael’s welcome presence. He was looking down at his feet, shy, awkward, and I barely registered Dean getting back into the car to give us some space when he began to speak, his words barely more than a whisper.  
“Dean said… He said you wanted to see me.”  
“Yes. Why else would I pray to you?” I asked. “Why did you leave completely? You could have just gone out of the room, you know?”  
My voice was unsteady as I spoke, and I saw a glimmer of guilt in Michael’s eyes as they met mine.  
“I thought you had… come to the conclusion that being with me would be a mistake. I was going to complete Adam’s healing and then leave. But what Dean said… I hope you can forgive me for going away. For not answering when you prayed.”  
“Can you forgive me for asking you to leave in the first place?”  
“Consider it forgiven and forgotten.” he said, and I threw myself into his arms, which he closed tightly around me to hold me to him.  
“Of course I forgive you. In fact, there’s nothing to forgive. I love you.” I mumbled against his neck.  
We held each other for a little while, until I pointed out that we were on our way to the hospital. Michael slipped into the front seat next to me and I started the engine. Driving off, I glanced at Dean in the rearview mirror.  
“Thank you.”  
“Forget it.” he shrugged my gratitude off.” You should know there’s hardly anything we wouldn’t do for you. This–“ he gestured toward Michael and me. “-might be something I don’t understand and agree with, but I trust you. After all you’ve told us, if you ask us to give him a chance, I’m willing to do it. Sam?” he turned to his brother.  
“Agreed.” Sam nodded. “As long as Michael really does not intend to take either, Dean or Adam, as a vessel again…”  
“I can assure you, I have no such intention.” Michael vowed solemnly.  
  
When we arrived at the hospital, it took me a bit of maneuvering to get both of the boys and the two of us in at the same time, but we managed. As we had discussed prior to getting out of my car, we kept the visit short, and before we left, Michael healed Adam completely, making sure he did not actually wake up before we were gone. We didn’t want to cause a scene right away. As a result, my phone rang just as we were back at the motel, and a nurse informed me Adam had regained consciousness. They were running the necessary tests now and he was currently sedated because he had been… erratic. Something that could be expected, and even more so when one knew what we knew about what had happened to him. I expressed the sentiments that would be considered appropriate for a federal agent in this situation and requested they let us know as soon as Adam was able to receive visitors while actually being aware of it.  
The brothers of course got a room for themselves and left us alone to settle in for the night. I got ready for bed, well aware that even with this task more or less finished, there would always be more, heavenly lockdown being only the first. But for the next few hours, I intended to just thoroughly enjoy the company of the man I loved.  
“I’m sorry.” Michael said when I slipped between the sheets and he embraced me.  
“Stop apologizing. I sent you away.” I scolded him gently.  
“I just need you to know that I never meant to hurt you. That I love you.”  
I kissed him softly before voicing any further reply.  
“I am aware. And the feeling is quite mutual.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... shall I reveal?  
> If you've been wondering, all the titles in this one are titles of Damien Rice songs. "The Greatest Bastard" and "It Takes A Lot To Know A Man" are from his most recent album 'My Favourite Faded Fantasy', while "Delicate" and "Cold Water" are on his debut 'O'.  
> Give him a listen, he's good.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think, I appreciate every comment and feedback!


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